Reconnecting Our Feelings
by BlueLil
Summary: "Riku stood there, bracing himself against the rail that enclosed the stand, facing the stadium. But he wasn't looking at the place where they had been running less than an hour ago." My take on how the last scene in episode 8 could continue. No slash. Brotherly fluff.


**Hello everybody!**

 **This is my first one-shot ever. I just couldn't stand that ending of episode 8 I had to continue it. And I'm very curious if someone will see it. It's not a very large fandom after all...**

 **I tried for them to be as close to their actual character as possible, but since there's not much known about Tomoe at this point in the anime he might or might not be OOC ^.^**

 **Anyway, this is un-betad because I don't know any English native speaker who knows this anime. If someone wants to read over it, contact me, I'd be very happy :D  
Also the title is not very creative... ^^;**

 **Well anyway, I hope you enjoy it :-)**

 **Disclaimer: No, sadly I don't own the characters, the anime or the storyline... Or there would have been more brotherly fluff in that last episode. Also I wouldn't have been so cruel to let it end like that _**

* * *

Riku stood there, bracing himself against the rail that enclosed the stand, facing the stadium. But he wasn't looking at the place where they had been running less than an hour ago. His head was bowed, hair shadowing his eyes as he focused on his hands, trying to keep them from shaking, trying to concentrate on something other than the shadows that threatened to overwhelm him.

They had lost. By almost 10 seconds difference. Even 'though they had gotten so much better during the training camp. Even 'though every last one of them had given his best.

The worst was that Riku hadn't really expected them to win when he started. The instant he had seen has brother on that screen, the instant he realised that they were competing against _him_ he had known deep inside that there was no way they could have won. Sure, his team was great. Hasekura-senpai and Kuga-senpai, Kohinata-senpai and Fujiwara, they were awesome and running with them was fun.

But his brother was on a whole different level. He was a total freak. It was like Tomoe didn't simply love running, rather he _needed_ to run with the same life-sustaining urgency other people needed to eat or sleep. Even Fujiwara wasn't quite as crazy as his brother.

The match today had brought all back. The insecurity, the despair he had felt when he was younger, always chasing his brother's back. It had all returned the moment he saw Tomoe pass the goal, wearing that one expression on his face he only had when finishing a match satisfactory, that self-confident smile that seemed to claim victory as a birth right.

It was in no way arrogant. His _brother_ wasn't arrogant. He simply loved to run and he was very good at it. And of course Tomoe knew that, it would probably be weirder for him to deny it, but nevertheless he was normally rather soft spoken and had over all a gentle character.

And of course Riku loved him. He just hated his brother's success, he hated always standing in his shadow, always being compared to him when running, always being reminded that he was not as good as his genius big brother. The fact that Tomoe himself had always encouraged him made it only harder.

He remembered how fun it had been in the beginning, when he had started to run with Tomoe, trying to keep up with his brother's pace, admiring his beautiful form. But at one point watching his brother from behind had become too painful and he hadn't wanted to run anymore at all. He remembered his brother's sad face when he told him in an angry fit.

" _I understand. Gomen ne, Riku."_

Starting again had been a mistake. Riku clearly felt that now. It only brought back the pain, the insecurity. He should quit right now, to spare himself more of those awful feelings. His team didn't need him, they still had Kadowaki-senpai. They could do it. For sure.

"Riku."

His head shot up with a surprised gasp. He turned his head and there he was, his brother. Standing a on the next ring of the stands, smiling his soft, gentle smile.

* * *

Tomoe looked down to his younger brother who stood with his back to him and was obviously deep in thought. No nice thoughts it seemed.

Tomoe had been truly happy when he had read his brother's name in Hônan's starting order. Not only did Riku run again, but he was also running with Heath and Kyosuke. They would help him cultivate his talent, drawing the best out of him.

"I'm doing it again", Tomoe realised with a slight pang of guilt. He had always known that his brother had the same amount of talent for running that he had, if not more. And he had always wanted Riku to enjoy running as much as he did, to feel the joy that he felt when running. To hunger for running and for victory the way he did.

In retrospective he should have considered his brother's feelings as well.

" _It's your fault that it's not fun! I quit stride! I never really wanted to…"_

Those words had hit him like a sledgehammer in the face. He'd never wanted to make his brother unhappy; he'd never wanted to _force_ him to do something he didn't like. The shock was followed by sadness. He really only ever wanted Riku to enjoy stride the way he did.

After that, they rarely spoke, mostly due to him training all the time. He had told himself that he did that in order to get better and better, but now he could tell that he had really only avoided Riku. He hadn't wanted to hear things like that again, that one time had hurt enough. And then Heath had been injured, Kyosuke left the Stride Club and he was invited to go to America. Of course he took the opportunity; he wanted to be the best after all. He had to put his dream first.

But now his brother was running again, and he was right in front of him, obviously troubled. Now he could go and listen to Riku's feelings. He took a step forward, calling his brother's name. Immediately Riku's head shot up and he turned to look at his brother, red eyes widened. It seemed to take him a few seconds to collect his thoughts before he turned a little more, one hand still resting loosely on the rail.

"Aniki" he said, surprise still written all over his face. "What is it?"

It sounded a little defensive, making Tomoe wince a little inwardly. He took the few steps down, not to quickly until he was standing directly in front of Riku, whose eyes were still fixed on him, a mix of confusion and caution written all over the younger boy's face. Suddenly all he wanted to do was just ruffle through Riku's bleached hair and make him laugh like he used to when Riku was younger. But there was still that gap between them.

"You're running looked good today", he said instead. "You changed your running posture. It's a little more upright."

"Uh, yeah" Riku answered, shifting uncomfortably. "We had a training camp with Saisei. Asuma suggested it."

"I see."

He went quiet for a while, not quite sure how to say what he wanted to say.

"You know it makes me really happy. That you're running again" he then said. An angry shadow flit across the younger boy's face.

"I'm not doing it for you", he stated bluntly. Tomoe bowed his head, smiling sadly.

"I know that, Riku. I mean I am happy that you're running again despite of what I did", he said softly. Riku's eyes widened a fraction and he looked at his brother for a few seconds before opening his mouth again.

"It... maybe it was a mistake to start running again" he whispered, his hands starting to shake. Tomoe felt his heart clench. Was it because they had beaten them? Did Riku take it that badly?

"Our last official match. Against Ichijyōkan. Right before the start the guy I ran against said: "I'm sure everyone's looking forward to seeing Yagami Tomoe's brother run." And that wasn't the first time something like that has happened." Riku didn't look at him while saying that. His gaze was directed at downwards to the Stadium. Tomoe grit his teeth.

"It doesn't matter who it is, the people watching or my opponents. As soon as they read the name Yagami they expect me to be as good as you are."

"But I'm not", he added almost inaudibly. "I'm not as talented or as dedicated as aniki…"

Tomoe felt himself frown. So that was the problem. The pressure. His mere existence put pressure on Riku. That's why he didn't want to run anymore.

"Riku", he began tentatively, "Why did you join the Stride Club in the first place?"

His brother let out a small chuckle.

"I was practically forced to join," he said smiling. "Sakurai-san and Fujiwara dragged me there. Hasekura-senpai recognised me immediately and I was… convinced to have a match against them, Fujiwara and me against Hasekura-senpai and Kohinata-senpai. It was a perfect draw. And it was… fun, so I somehow stuck around."

Tomoe couldn't help but smile as well. That sounded a lot like something Heath would do.

"Running with your friends, ka?" he asked, feeling a little melancholic. No, he shook his head. No use dwelling on the past. He had irrevocably left that behind when he bid farewell with Kyosuke earlier.

"Um", Riku nodded, looking a lot livelier than a few moments ago. "It took Fujiwara and me some time to get the relay right, but it worked out. Sakurai-san helped a lot."

"Fujiwara", Riku added softly after a brief pause. "He's a lot like aniki. Always running, no matter what. And he's really focused too. He would probably be the better younger brother for you…"

This time Tomoe couldn't help but ruffle through his baby brother's hair.

"Baka", he said, smiling affectionately. "I never thought you were a bad brother. Even if you decide to quit stride again, it won't change the fact that I'm proud of you. So don't give so much on other people's opinion, you don't have to run for anyone but yourself."

Riku looked at him eyes wide for a few seconds. Then he smiled.

"Or better still" Tomoe continued, remembering what Kyosuke had said, "Run for Hônan. For your Team."

For the Team. It sounded like in some anime. It wasn't for him 'though, he knew that. In order to achieve his goal he put himself and his dream first. But he liked the thought of his little brother being more like Kyosuke than like himself.

Riku smiled and looked away again.

"For the team, ka?" he asked softly. Tomoe felt happiness flood through him. Riku would continue running, despite everything.

"Oh by the way", he then said, smile turning a bit mischievous. "You're sponsored by Diane, right? Did she make you model?"

He could see Riku turn red, despite him still facing the stadium.

"You're one to talk. She showed us that one picture of you and Heath when you were first years."

Tomoe chuckled a little at the memory. Kyosuke had somehow managed to escape the shooting and Diane was dead set on having them take a cool picture together.

"Oi, Yagami."

They looked up simultaneously. At the entrance upstairs stood one of Riku's teammates, the dark haired one who ran against Amatsu-kun. That must be Fujiwara, Tomoe realised.

"We need to talk over our strategy, come back with me" the kid simply stated. "Also… I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier." He took a small bow, arms pressed to each side of his body.

 _"He's a lot like aniki."_

Riku smiled awkwardly and nodded. "I'm coming. See you around, aniki" he added towards his brother.

Tomoe nodded slightly in his direction. Riku looked a lot better now, Tomoe noticed. Maybe this time he did some good. He watched his baby brother leave with his teammate. They were already quarrelling friendly. Tomoe smiled again and then went to return to his own team. His brother seemed to be in good hands.

* * *

 **Translation for the Japanese:**

senpai - upperclassman  
Gomen ne - I'm sorry  
Aniki - big brother  
ka - something like "huh?"

 **Thanks for reading :D  
** **If you liked it please leave a review. If you didn't do so anyway, I can take some constructive criticism.**

 **Hab euch lieb  
~BlueLil**


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